A lot has happened in January. For one, I started back to school. For two, my babygirl got hurt and had her first round of stitches ever. For three, I fell in love with my job probably harder than I was before, in one night.
School is alright. I'm only taking one class right now, and it's a multicultural class. It has made for some interesting discussions at home, because my readings are about the stages of determining your racial identity (which is particularly interesting considering our biracial children), and my husband just happens to be reading a Barack Obama biography and the different things that he went through.. trying to navigate our children's identities is going to be a nice little challenge for us, I think, all things considered. I was telling B the other day... the majority of those that our kids are around are black - school/daycare, church, family, etc. But most often if an outsider looks at them, they will classify them as white... considering that it is obvious that they are mixed with something... but most definitely have white features, if some of the rest are unable to be classified without asking to be sure. And then comes the question, what are you more swayed by, who you identify with because you are surrounded by them, or where society places you? In a dream world, of course, they wouldn't have to "choose," but we can't be naive to think that they won't go through stages of questioning and evaluating things, and we as parents will have to handle that as it comes. I know this topic makes people uncomfortable, but I think this is going to be something that we really have to be aware of as our kids grow, and be open to the conversations and the questions regarding race.
Moving on.... Little Jae got hurt running around a couple of weeks ago. She took a nice fall into the bottom, metal rung of a chair at church. Her lip got split open, and one of her top front teeth got pushed back in her mouth. So, she got stitches, which was HUGELY traumatic for both of us. Honestly, I think it was worse for me, and I'm not just being sensitive. She screamed and cried and was so obviously scared. She screamed for me and then just looked at me with these horribly accusing eyes, as though I was LETTING these horrible people torture her for no reason. And then?? And then she started crying out for daddy instead. As though I had failed her. It broke my heart into a million pieces.
At that point, we were also told by the pediatric dentist that her tooth would need pulled. I opted not to do that the same day, and to go back another time, as she had been through a lot already. When we went back, they decided it wasn't necessary to pull it and that it wasn't effecting her permanent tooth. Score! I was told to keep an eye out for infection or nerve damage, which would take the form of sores in her mouth or the tooth turning discolored. Well, fast forward two weeks... and yesterday I notice that her tooth is pretty much grey. Sigh. So I will have to call them tomorrow and make an appointment to get her tooth extracted. For real this time. Boo!
As far as my job goes... I don't even know where to start. We have been working to start support groups for the parents that we work with, in order for them to have support systems within their communities. With our clientele, there are often a lot of barriers - they often have no transportation, may or may not have support to watch their children, sometimes don't even have food to eat each day. Well, part of the planning for this effort was to reduce the barriers so that they could come and be listened to, and share. We transported them to our office, provided childcare, and got local restaurants to donate food to these families that may not have otherwise eaten. It was a huge effort to plan, but awesome right? Not only that, but once the group started, the ways in which these people were able to open up about what they had been through was so impactful for everyone. It is just awesome to be able to really feel like you are making a difference to them. Just listening to them, and letting them relate to one another's experiences was so huge... I loved every minute of it, and it was so powerful. It was yet another way that reminded me why I moved to this path.
I have more to write about, not least of which is my adorable new nephew that was born prematurely a couple of weeks ago (and is doing AWESOME), but I'm sick today - the weather is finally catching up to me, I think - so I'm going to go lay down while these kids watch a movie. I hope you all are doing well so far in this new year.
