The Babbling Brooke

Recap-ish.

Let's be honest for a minute here.

If you had told me on New Years Eve last year that:

• Big Jay would spend 6 days in a hospital, and then
• Get on the honor roll his first quarter of kindergarten, six months later... or that
• I was going to up and leave my job at PNC for a full-time gig at that place I was just hired at part-time, or that
• I would be in graduate school or that
• Little Jae would be potty-trained so fast it would not even be worth mentioning, or that
• B would reunite with his paternal side, or that
• His father would pass away before he got the chance to meet him or that
• B would tear tendons in both knees,
• Have surgery,
• and be incapacitated for two months (!!!)....

I would surely have laughed in your face. Surely.

In January of last year, I wrote here that "We're both very much looking forward to the upcoming months.. 2011 has some unforeseen promise for both of us, I think, and I'm liking it." And you know what? I was so right. We have ended this year in a positive place, ultimately stronger in every arena of life. We've grown 20-fold in faith, and reaped the benefits of being faithful, despite the challenges that we have faced. Both B and I have new jobs and are on different paths. Big Jay is in a much better place now than where he began the year, and we are more confident parents. Little Jae is in preschool now, excelling and coming into her own, with so much bigger of a personality than we could have ever imagined. I started the year with really one (timid, in hindsight) goal - to gain some experience in the social service arena and continue in school. I did that, and then some. I went full-time in social services, and jumped in to pursue a graduate degree instead of a second bachelor's degree.

Through all of our tests this year, I think that B and I came out stronger, as we always seem to. Statistically, many of the issues that we have faced this year would tear a marriage apart. We've had to rely on each other - wholly - at many points this year. I could not have made it through Big Jay's hospitalization without his rationality. And he would have struggled to make it through his injury without me by his side. I mean, I think. haha. I'm so proud of our marriage how it has matured this year.

I think a few months back, I called 2011 the year of "We Shall Overcome." It was that. And I don't know what 2012 has in store, because after the year of challenges that we have had, I am sure my guesses won't even come close. I look forward to learning new things and accepting new challenges in the new year. I look forward to continuing to grow in faith. I look forward to watching my babies continue to grow, and making their faith, knowledge, and understanding of Christ a priority.

And, of course, I hope that you all are blessed in the new year. Love to you!

Wait, what? It's Thanksgiving???

So my life has been taken over by ridiculous amounts of THINGS HAPPENING. I can't really summarize it in any other articulate way. Just, things happen, we adjust and deal with them, and then some other things happen, and then we balance things out and then we just keep.. on.. moving.

I told my mother a few weeks ago that this is the year of "we will overcome" here at the Williams household. Whatever happens, we overcome it. As mentioned in my previous entry, we feel like we're in a good place with Big Jay right now - we have overcome the terrifying things that happened at the beginning of the year. We're even now to a place were we are EXCITED about how he is doing. Not just sometimes. All. The. Time.

Beyond that - and the fact that I was literally too busy to even mention it here is quite telling - B tore his patellar tendon a little over a month ago. In both knees. At the same time. And had surgery. On both knees. At the same time.

I should really tell the story here, especially the part about how the ER doctors originally wanted to send him home with percocet and an ice pack until B was like HEY GUYS I REALLY CAN'T WALK AT ALL, or how after the surgery he was so doped up that he wanted to sue. SOMEBODY. ANYBODY. THE FLOOR WAS FAULTY.

The humor is there, now, whereas a month ago it seemed like the whole world was crumbling. Our downstairs was invaded by a hospital bed, wheelchair, and walker (hi, we live in a townhome apartment. we really, really don't have a lot of space here to work with). B needed help doing everything from getting in and out of bed to filling up these ice pack cooler things that circulated freezing water on his knees all the time in order to reduce the swelling. My life turned into mother of two, caretaker of one, the only one in the house that could drive and run errands and go to school meetings and work...

And, oh yeah, about a week after he had surgery, my school had this neat little 2-week period in which three of my classes were ending at the SAME TIME that two of my classes were starting - so I was essentially taking 5 classes at once. Graduate. Level. Classes. I had research papers and article critiques and book reviews and...

I've been a little overwhelmed. But you know what? We had help. A lot of it. B's mom and aunt helped out by sitting with B during the day so that I could go to work. They helped with the kids as necessary, cooked meals, they shopped for us when we needed it, they did chores around the house and cleaned it from top to bottom at one point... among all of the millions of other things they did for us.

Our church family helped... dropping off meals, calling with prayers, and offering love and encouragement. B doesn't have disability pay. Did I mention that part? So... they helped us out financially, too, as did my parents...

And now? We are overcoming, again. B is working from home, thanks to a not-so-common arrangement with his job. He is getting around really well - we sent the hospital bed and other rented equipment back last week so our house is mostly back to normal. He still is (supposed to be) wearing the knee braces when he walks, but he no longer needs help doing.. pretty much anything. He has two weeks left until the braces are allowed to come off, officially, and then he will begin physical therapy. And then at some point next month, he'll get the ok to drive, and start back to work... and it will be just.. something else that happened.

As for me, my grades came back for the three classes that ended, and I have a 4.0 towards my degree. Not for lack of STRESSING OUT LIKE CRAZY about it, of course. I could not have finished those classes so strongly without all of the help that we had, nor could I have gotten by in any capacity emotionally - so thank you to everyone that has supported us so wonderfully for the past month.

As cheesy and cliche as this may sound, this Thanksgiving, I am truly thankful to God for putting our wonderful and amazing friends and family here with us. You all are a gift. Truly.

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday, and may you each be as very blessed in love and grace as we are.

Weeping may linger for the night, but joy comes with the morning -Psalms 30:5

Year in Review - 2010 Edition

Hilariously ironic, I ended 2009's year in review post with a proclamation that this year I wanted to make strides to become the person that I want to be.

I think I've made some strides, don't you?

There were literal strides, of course, as I developed my ability to run, using the C25k program. I trained for, ran in, and completed my first 5k in September. Then, I ran another one, with B, in October and beat my time by several minutes.

I discovered this year that not only do I love to run, but that my body is actually capable of doing so. I sincerely hope that 2011 holds many, many more miles of trail for me.

There were also emotional strides. Big Jay has had a big year - as have B and I, in parenting him. We gained a diagnosis for him, and then later on, another. At one point, I mentioned how grateful I would be if B and I just had a better understanding of him by the end of the year, and how much that would mean to us. Ha. Ha. Ha. Leaps and bounds later, he is at a new school, where he has been praised repeatedly for his behavior, and is flourishing. Thank you, Jesus.

Little Jae - ah, Little Jae - has also flourished this year. Since taking the step to put her into daycare, she has completely blossomed. Her personality is BIG. Her feelings are BIG. Her girliness is BIG. She warms up to people so much more quickly, and she has grown so very much in just a year.

We made a huge decision this year. We moved out of our house and into the suburbs. The beginning of the year was filled with anticipation for the change. The rest of the year, we have fallen completely in love with our apartment, and the area that we live.

I watched people take control of their lives. And then, I took control of my own. I made the decision to go back to school and make a career change. Because of that, I have a new part-time job to look forward to beginning next year.

Additionally, I just found out - officially - yesterday, that I ended my first school term with all A's. B is waiting for a decision on a new position at his job, which would be a great opportunity for him as well.

We've had a really great year. We've been blessed, over and over... and reading over all of the posts from this year really made me realize what an awesome year it has been in so many ways. Even throughout the struggles and the emotional war that I've had - mostly with myself - we've made such gigantic strides this year in the right direction, and I just see so many doors open for us in the new year. It's an exciting time.

I should also mention another post from the beginning of the year, when we decided to give firstfruits to the church. I sincerely believe that all of our progress this year has been a direct result of our sowing in faith at the beginning of the year. Throughout all of our struggles this year - and, trust me, there have been many with all of the big changes that we decided to make - both B and I continually relied on God to help us through. And we made it. He provided for us - not only provided, but we are in such a better place now than we were at the beginning of the year.

And for that, I am so thankful.

I hope everyone has a fantastic holiday season. Please be safe, stay warm, and enjoy time with your loved ones.

Year in Review - 2009 Edition

What a year. A year of learning - I've learned more about myself this year than I think I ever have in such a short period. And it just amazes me to think that a year ago today Little Jae was in the hospital with RSV. I'm extremely thankful that there has not been a return trip.

Here's some additional perspective. At the beginning of the year, my kids looked like this:

2009 started out with me on maternity leave, spending each day with my husband and my new Little Jae. I struggled a lot with returning to work. We found a church.  

Oh, and we got a new president.

I tried to adjust my attitude, successfully, for the most part, but with help from the new church. Jace was struggling a bit at preschool. I was still struggling at work, and really feeling misunderstood and having trouble loving anyone but my family. Finally, through counseling, I found out that my struggle was truly with Post-Partum Depression.

I read a book, and we changed just about everything about the way we eat.

We had a great summer, without a camera, but with lots of parks and bike rides.

We lost Keith.  

B and I celebrated our fourth anniversary.

I struggled with ending friendships  I also struggled with how quickly my children are growing. We made new traditions with people that we love. There was lots and lots of minor illness this fall, and even so far this winter.

Little Jae turned one. Big Jay turned four.

And just like that, it was over.

I went back and forth about so many things this year. I had internal battles about the way I let people make me feel, and about the person that I want to be going forward, and exactly who that person is. I learned to trust my instincts, I learned to trust God. I learned that people mean so much more to you than you realize, until the one day that they aren't there for you to tell them anymore.

I grew closer to God.

This year has had some really rocky moments, but it's also had many reasons to celebrate. I, for one, am going to celebrate a new start this evening. In 2010, I want to show everyone how much I learned in 2009. I want to continue strides towards being the person that I want to be.

I hope everyone is safe this evening. Have a happy holiday, more to come from me in the new year.

Ah, where to start.

Our Christmas was full of family time, of thoughtful gifts and gestures and memories. For once, my kids weren't sick over the holiday (they apparently got it all out of their system the week before), which is, well, new.

I'm gearing up for The Great Purge of 2010 - meaning, out with the old. We just have so much stuff and it seems like even moreso especially after Christmas when there needs to be a place for everything and we are just running out of places.... I can think of so many things that aren't played with or used anymore that are just sitting in our house that would be appreciated so much more by someone else. I remember when I was younger, my parents would threaten me with a trash bag to throw my toys out when I got in trouble or wouldn't clean my room. I also remember a handful of times that my mom went into my room with a trash bag and I didn't even notice until she told me weeks later. Now, I get it. It's hard to appreciate stuff when you have it in excess.

That being said, we did get some cool stuff. My dad got us both DJ Hero and Band Hero for the Wii and although we've had them for, what, two days now? I am on the verge of obsession. I haven't had a video game for awhile that I enjoyed this much. I may have missed my calling as a DJ. Haha.

The kids enjoyed themselves. Little Jae got another full wardrobe, along with a few little toys here and there. Nothing that jumped out at her, though not much does just yet (unless it is food). Probably the only thing that, as of yet, she has repeatedly played with for longer than 30 seconds is the Aquadoodle mat that she got from Grandma Weaver. She did enjoy running around at my dad's house this past weekend, especially playing in the mirrors. She also was working hard trying to pull down the Christmas tree at all of the houses that we visited.

Big Jay, too, got a full wardrobe, as well as all kinds of toys that do all kinds of stuff. He got a LeapFrog Tag reader that he played with yesterday (and we spent some of his Christmas/birthday money from Great Grandma Ferguson to buy some more books for it), as well as these awesome RC Bumper Cars that were totally from me although Santa, Daddy, and Grandpa Ferguson so far are the ones that have gotten credit for them. He got a new firetruck from Grandma Williams, which goes well with the fireman hat that he got from Grandpa Ferguson. I did decide on the Smart Fit video game for him, which he enjoyed a bit at my dad's but we haven't yet hooked up since we've been home.

The kids also got a portable DVD player and case, which I think B and I are more excited about than anyone else. This will help tremendously on car rides (such as the one to Myrtle Beach coming up in May). Big Jay enjoyed a viewing of Cars on our way back home from my dad's on Saturday afternoon, making for a much-more-quiet-than usual car trip.

In other, completely unrelated to Christmas, news.... B's mom is retiring on Wednesday. So, congratulations to her! I have to admit that even though I'm not yet even 30, I am really jealous at the idea of not having to go to work anymore, but I know I still have many years to put in before I get to that stage. We're really proud and excited for her and all of the new adventures and activities that she will now have time to enjoy... even though I'm pretty sure she hasn't thought much past the first few weeks of sleeping in and enjoying some couch time. Can't say that I blame her there. So in addition to celebrating the coming year, this week we are also celebrating a year of rest and relaxation for B's mom, she has so earned it.

Hope everyone had a fabulous Christmas. Thanks to everyone that we were able to spend time with, we had a blast everywhere that we went. I'll be back at some point this week, I hope, to reflect on 2009 and make some 2010 declarations.